Mild Expectations_image

Mild Expectations

Published on January 2, 2015 under , , , , ,

It’s been almost four weeks since my last post —holidays obligent— and it might as well have been forever since it was published literally last year. Speaking of which, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE HOW IS THAT HANGOVER WEARING OFF.


Today, I want to talk about myself, because that’s never a bad idea.


This past year was a very interesting one for me, and I look back on it as one of those transitional time periods when it’s super chaotic, but also productive, but also stressful, but also exciting. In 2014, I:


– made my very own short film —which I wrote/directed/acted in/edited/songwrote for (FUCKING MULTITASK, EH?)

– went from managing a team of 5 at a multinational corporation (full-time) to teaching English at a K-12 school for exceptionally-gifted children (part-time;)

– dedicated more time to this blog than eve and finally launched my YouTube channel;

– had my house robbed the day before I was supposed to start shooting my first video;

– applied to 4 different graduate schools —and failed miserably;

– had platinum blond hair for 2.5 months.

Overall, I feel like my life is still super messy (case in point: I’ve been living at my dad’s for over a year and a half when I was only supposed to stay for a couple of months) but I don’t hate that I have no idea what’s in store for me. A very dear friend once said to me that when nothing is planned, anything can happen. Here is to hoping that bodes well.


As far as the rest of the world goes, I feel like 2014 was pretty shitty, but in a way that fueled so many people’s active involvement in making a difference that my faith in humanity is restored. The incredibly sad and violent reality experienced by people of color, and more specifically black men, finally became apparent to everyone and I’m hopeful that the injustice of the judicial system and systemic oppression against minorities will be challenged even more in the next few months.


Teaching children, and more importantly teenagers, has been such an eye-opener to me. So much of what these young people will become starts maturing now. There is nothing more gratifying to me than catching a student’s eye and understanding from their look that something I’ve said —or, to be more accurate, something someone else said but I pointed them to— has resonated with them. This is a difficult time to be 16 years old: the only prospect they seem to be facing is that of a struggle (for jobs, for rights, you name it.) So it’s comforting to know my colleagues and I can have a positive influence on them and make them feel that the future is perhaps not that bleak.


For 2015, I have one resolution and many goals.


My resolution is to be less judgmental of people, and more specifically my friends. I’ve come a long way since my high school years, when I projected so much of my self-loathing onto others that I bordered on mean sometimes, but I still feel that my Parisian-ness makes me less kind than I should be. If someone I care about says something racist, homophobic, transphobic and the like, I will speak out and open a dialogue with them, which I have to admit is way scarier and less fun than talking shit about them behind their back. This makes me sound like I’m a permanent resident of the moral high ground, but I say that with full awareness that my life is a constant learning experience that I in fact know nothing #jonsnow.


My goals are as follows:


– make my YouTube channel a multi-million-dollar empire;

– have all of my graduating students cry in June because I’m not going to be their teacher again;

– get into a PhD program (maybe? should I? we’ll see;)

– reach my 25th birthday and not cry about it;

– have my short film selected for a festival, just so I can put those little laurel pictograms on the poster;

– write my next short film;

– MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF MY PARENTS’ PLACE (like, bless them, but getting laid is becoming more and more difficult these days.)


Most importantly, I would like to have taught the present perfect. Like, even one student would be fine. Just, learn the present perfect, please.


I love you all.